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I don't even know how to title this post because it will inevitably consist of a potpourri of ramblings.

First thing on my mind: Recent catastrophes. Sans any political ideologies, I am just in shock at all the devastation, from tsunamis to hurricanes; earthquakes to landslides. Yesterday I was going to comment on the 7.6 magnitude earthquake in Asia and then disspelled the idea because it didn't initially seem like it was as bad as it sounded. Then today I wake up and log on to the headline: "Death Toll Surpasses 20,000." It breaks my heart, even if this did take place thousands of miles away from my home. There's not much coverage about this on CNN or Fox, and though I don't like watching a steady stream of such depressing news, it still seems like they should be examining the situation. Sometimes it is easy to not feel as affected by such events when they occur so far away, but MAN...this is bad. What if 20,000+ were killed in one single incident of Mother Nature's fury in America? (Not to mention the economic devastation!) I'm a firm believer that these are the disastrous "signs of the times" referred to in the Bible.

Second thing I've got to purge from my system: Strange happenings. This is a lighter topic, and no, I'm not talking about UFO's or any other off-the-wall subject of a potential Unsolved Mysteries episode. But there's been some odd things going on with me that I just can't quite explain. For instance, I found those journals that I had written when I was in 5th and 6th grade. In one of them, I had written about the Washington D.C. trip we had taken. It just so happened to be that it was 15 years ago to the week that I was writing about it. Okay, nothing all that strange there.

Then I was going through some boxes the other day and found memorabilia from a trip I took to Mexico with the university...5 years ago to the very week, once again. Another coincidence.

So then I've been thinking about this ex-boyfriend lately. Very random thing that he popped into my mind out of the blue like this, which is what I can't explain about this little story. He was actually one of my first real boyfriends, and I did love him so, or at least in the terms of teenage love. He was the first guy I had sex with, and even though it was 7 seconds of misery cramped in the backseat of a Shadow on a bridge in 3 feet of snow, it was definitely one of those experiences I'll never forget. And it must have been love because there's still this pang in my heart; not the type of feeling as in I want him back or anything, but I want him to be wholeheartedly happy. Well, in the previous post I had said that this song by Nickelback, "Photograph," has been having an effect on me lately--it has made me think of him a LOT. I started listening to the words and it reminds me of how I used to stand at the back door and watch for his black Dodge Shadow to pull in the driveway. In general, everything about the song reminds me of our relationship one way or another.

So the other day I found my journals from when I was a sophomore and junior in high school. I started keeping journals again after I met Aaron, the boyfriend I have been speaking of, the summer before my sophomore year. The odd thing...okay, you ready for this? It was 10 years ago to the week I found the journal (this past week) that Aaron and I started seeing each other. AND...the next day after I started reading through this journal, I was sitting in my Jeep on my break at school and read in the newspaper that his wife just divorced him. AND...Who do you think I saw at the Y today?

Aaron.

It's just nuts. It is like I have some type of connection with him still. I dunno. I didn't gather the courage to talk to him today, but I wanted to so bad. I just wanted to be like, "Hey, let's go have coffee and talk for old time's sake." Now I know married women don't do this sort of thing, so I didn't. I know that even the most innocent intentions can open a door for disaster. But I just wanted to see him smile. I also read in the paper here while back that his mother died, and by calculating the time frame, his wife must have filed for divorce shortly thereafter. He's always been very quiet and avoids direct eye contact anyway, but I just felt like he was in pain. I dunno. It's none of my business I guess. Maybe it's just my womanly instinct to show compassion. Maybe deep down, I still care. And then maybe, subconsciously, I realize after my old friend died this past week I am sensitive to the fact that you never know when will be the last time you see someone, which can be especially devastating when that person has made such an impact on your life.

At the risk of sounding looney, I just have to state that there is a plethora of irony going on right now. It just...feels...weird.

And on a final note that is totally irrelevant to anything, we finally broke down and turned on the heat a few minutes ago. I was hoping to hold off for a few days since we were finally just able to turn off the a/c this past week, but I don't think we can handle another 46 degree night with nothing but blankets. We also made one more trip to the Dairy Queen since it will probably close soon for the season. I will miss my Moolattes.